Martin Wedding Officiants

Fun Facts About Weddings

2012-03-01T14:10:00.000-05:00

I was surfing the web the other day and came across these fun facts about where some of our traditions came from. I thought you would enjoy me sharing them with you.

Bouquet
For ancient Greeks and Romans, the bouquet was a pungent mix of garlic and herbs or grains. The garlic was supposed to ward off evil spirits and the herbs or grains were to insure a fruitful union. In ancient Poland, it was believed that sprinkling sugar on the bride's bouquet kept her temper sweet.

Cake
The wedding cake has always played an important part in the wedding. Ancient Romans broke a cake over the bride's head to symbolize fertility or abundance. Many other cultures dropped wheat, flour or cake on the bride's head, and then ate the crumbs for good luck. The early British baked baskets of dry crackers and every guest took one home after the wedding. In medieval times, guests brought small cakes and piled them on a table. The bride and groom then attempted to kiss over the cakes. Eventually, a young baker decided to put all the cakes together and cover them with frosting, thus the tiered wedding cake was born.

Dress
Traditionally, brides did not wear white wedding gowns. Through the 18th century, most brides just wore their Sunday best to their wedding. Red was a favorite during the Middle Ages in Europe. Other colors were worn for symbolic reasons: blue meant constancy and green meant youth. As years passed, white was worn as a symbol of purity. Today, white merely symbolizes the wedding and is worn by any bride, no matter if it is their second marriage.

Honeymoon
The first weddings comprised of a groom taking his bride by capture. He would take her somewhere hidden away so her relatives and villagers couldn't find them. There they stayed for one moon phase and drank mead, a wine make from honey, to make them more amorous. Thus, the word "honeymoon" was born. Today, the honeymoon is the time when the couple can get away for awhile.

Kiss
The first kiss a bride and groom share at the close of the ceremony has carried special significance through the centuries. Many cultures believed that the couple exchanged spirits with their breath and part of their souls were exchanged as well.

Ring
The wedding ring has traditionally been worn on the third finger of the left hand because it was believed that a vein in this finger ran directly to the heart. The third finger of the left hand has become the customary wedding-ring finger for all English-speaking cultures.

Throwing Rice
One of the oldest wedding traditions, the custom of throwing rice, originated with the ancient Hindus and Chinese. In these cultures, rice is the symbol of fruitfulness and prosperity. Tossing it after the ceremony was believed to bestow fertility upon the bride and groom. Eating rice and other grains was thought to guarantee health, wealth and happiness for the newlyweds. Today, rice tossing is being replaced by the more ecologically friendly birdseed tossing, because uncooked rice is damaging to birds who eat it off the church lawn.

Veil
Mystique and romance has surrounded the veil for more than one thousand years. Originally, the veil is thought to have been used to hide the bride from abductors, just as the similar dress of her bridesmaids was meant to do. But a more romantic interpretation evolved later which believed that concealment (as the bride's face beneath a veil) rendered what was hidden more valuable. Another early interpretation of the veil was that it symbolized youth and virginity.

Norm Martin
Martin Wedding Officiants

Resolutions

2012-01-13T12:15:00.001-05:00

Well, here we are in mid-January and most of us have already broken our new year’s resolutions. That’s why I personally don’t make them any longer. Do you know what the top ten New Year’s resolutions are? Take a look and see if yours is on the list.

1. Spend more time with family and friends
2. Get in shape
3. Lose weight
4. Quit Smoking
5. Enjoy life more
6. Quit Drinking
7. Get out of debt
8. Learn something new
9. Help others
10. Get organized

These are all very honourable resolutions. If we could keep them all we would be much better people, much healthier and certainly model citizens. The truth though is that we are human beings and human beings are not perfect. I try to follow the rule of moderation and avoid the excesses in life although my wife and my doctor would tell you that #3 is a must for me in 2012.

One of the things that I am trying to learn is to not make my goals so unreachable. If we could learn to live one day at a time and at the end of each day look back and assess our day in terms of what we are trying to achieve, we would be far better off. If I didn’t do so well today, I’ll try even harder tomorrow.

You know what? Marriage is really a resolution only a lifetime resolution. If we could just learn to take one day at a time and at the end of each day look back and ask ourselves the question. What could I have done better today? I’m talking about taking an honest look at ourselves. In every criticism of your spouse, I believe there is an element of truth no matter how much it hurts to hear it. Consider at the end of the day what your spouse has said and see if maybe there is something there that you could work on. That’s how marriages last. Have a wonderful 2012.

Rev. Norman M. Martin
Martin Wedding Officiants

Christmas Wine

2011-12-05T11:56:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are. It is almost Christmas again. Like most men, or at least those in my circles, I strongly dislike the shopping part of Christmas although I love being out and about enjoying the spirit of it all. My outdoor lights have been up since early November thanks mainly to my wife. I hope you are getting into the mood about now.

Christmas of course, is first of all, a celebration of the birth of Jesus even though most scholars would agree that he was almost certainly not born on Dec 25th. From what I have gathered though, Jesus would be the first one to enjoy celebrating with family and friends around a dinner table, a Christmas tree or party. After all he was enjoying the festivities at a wedding reception when he performed his first miracle. In those days, and even in some cultures today, wedding celebrations lasted for several days. For those of you who don’t know this story, you might be surprised what the miracle was. Well, would you believe that the worst thing possible happened. They ran out of wine. That would have been so humiliating and embarrassing for the hosts of the party. Not wanting to see the party end, Jesus had several large containers filled with water and he turned them into wine, actually the best wine of the celebration so the guests said. In those days they saved the cheap wine until the end when the people didn’t know the difference. People at this party actually commented about how unusual it was for the best wine to be left until the end.

Maybe this Christmas you might consider turning someone’s hum drum Christmas into something special and help them celebrate as well. I hope that this Christmas you will join me in changing your focus outward instead of thinking only of ourselves and our needs. There are lots of charities out there that could use any assistance you can give them whether it be financially or as a volunteer. One of them I contribute to on a yearly basis is The Salvation Army. I am not a part of that organization in any way but I know that they do great work especially at Christmas. After all Christmas is more about giving than receiving. If you haven’t tried reaching out to the less fortunate at Christmas you have missed a huge part of what it is all about.

So Yes, I am going to remember the real reason for the season but I’m also going to have a wonderful time with family and friends. I am so looking forward to seeing my two granddaughters who are 8 and 4 now come down the stairs at my son’s home with eyes like saucers when they see the Christmas tree. I am going to eat turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and turnip casserole with a little wine and celebrate all I can. I hope you and your loved ones do the same.

In conclusion, I would just like to wish everyone who reads this a wonderful family time this year. We should never take our family and friends for granted because there are no guarantees in life. If you don’t have a large family, make someone else a part of your family for a day. Let’s enjoy each other while we have each other. Merry Christmas and all the best for 2012.

Rev. Norman M. Martin
Wedding Officiant.

Martin Wedding Officiants: Dream of Happiness

2011-11-17T12:15:00.000-05:00

Martin Wedding Officiants: Dream of Happiness

Dream of Happiness

2011-11-02T12:55:00.000-04:00

One day last month, I was driving along heading to a wedding rehearsal listening to my favourite talk radio station when I heard this statement and I quote “don’t let your dreams get in the way of your happiness”. I thought that was a very interesting comment so I listened for a while then closed down the radio and mulled over what I had heard.

You know what? I learned at a very young age that no matter how much I wanted to be a hockey player, a great athlete or even do a job that required hard physical labour, that it wasn’t going to happen. You see, I was born with a birth injury to my left arm that left me with a physical impediment, or a promise of a life different than that, one that I wouldn’t trade for anything now.

Then there are the dreams that are possible. Dreams like making a million dollars by the time you are 40, dreams of a great job making 200,000 per year with a beautiful home in the suburbs, a beautiful wife and two kids, a pool in the backyard and at least 3 newer model cars in the driveway. Sometimes we become obsessed with making these dreams happen at the expense of our happiness. Have you heard the saying that “when you are dealt a lemon, make lemonade”.

So, you might find yourself doing something less that you dreamed about, making ends meet but very much unhappy about your lot in life. What if you focused on your present situation and what you can do to make the best of what you are doing, What if you thought real hard about what you could do to make your job more efficient and effective. What if you set down and started a look backwards and began counting your many blessings like family, friends and all the good things in life that make you happy. Do so, and you will find your attitude changing. In the midst of all your positive thinking and attitude adjustment you may find opportunity coming from the very place where you least expected it.

There is a book that I highly recommend called ‘The Butterfly Effect’. By Andy Andrews. It is only about a 30 minute read because it is quite small. If you want to be encouraged, please look it up online and buy it. http://www.andyandrews.com/ms/the-butterfly-effect

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having dreams and goals. In fact, if you want to get ahead in life you have to have a goal, a vision and the ambition to get there. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t let our dreams control the way we live our lives at the present. I can’t imagine anyone on their death bed regretting that they hadn’t given their company more hours or worked harder, or not fulfilled their dreams. Most likely the regrets will be that we had our priorities in the wrong place, that we perhaps lost what we loved the most because of our selfish ambitions.

Dream, and dream big, but don’t let it get in the way of being happy and don’t let it get in the way of the really important things of life.

Marriage is a Clay Figure

2011-09-29T13:13:00.001-04:00

I was recently performing a wedding ceremony that I offer on my own website but had not yet read before except quickly in passing. This time it was different. The words to a poem that I read that day jumped off the pages of the ceremony because I had never heard marriage expressed that way before.

There are a host of things these days that can disrupt our marriages if we allow it to happen. I believe though, and I will admit to the same problem, that the general basis of most marital disagreement is selfishness. We all pay lip service to sayings like "marriage is a give and take" and many more like that. Sometimes you have to lose your life in order to find it. Some will say, "lose my life? You mean I have to give up who I am as a person?" Well we do it in many other aspects of our life. We give up our own wants and desires many times for our bosses who demand us to work 12-14 hour days sometimes, and often with no extra pay. Doesn't a partner in life deserve the same effort from you and the same willingness to give?

This is the part of the ceremony I read that day and I quote. "The true art of married life is an inner spiritual journey. It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities, a mingling of two endowments which diminishes neither, but enhances both. I would like to share with you this poem about this mingling, called "Married Love," which was written by a medieval poet about seven hundred years ago. In the English translation, it reads:"

"You and I
Have so much love,
That it burns like a fire,
In which we bake a lump of clay
Molded into a figure of you
And a figure of me.
Then we take both of them,
And break them into pieces,
And mix the pieces with water,
And mold again a figure of you and a figure of me.
I am in your clay.
You are in my clay."

This is what marriage is all about! Are you in each other's clay?

How Is Your Memory??

2011-07-13T17:11:00.002-04:00

I was asked recently if I would consider writing a monthly blog on Marriage. Well, I know quite a bit about weddings having performed ceremonies for close to 300 of them in the past several years. However, knowing about weddings is a far cry from knowing about marriage. I should know something about Marriage I guess after 44 years of being married to the same lady. That might qualify me to know something about my marriage but not necessarily yours. I am smart enough though to know that I really don't know that much and I still need to pay attention. In any case, if even one or two of the things I have picked up over the last 44 years, come Aug 26, 2011, are helpful to you then it has been all worth while.

One of the things you might have picked up on right away, was that I remembered my anniversary and didn't even have to ask my wife. I have always made an effort to remember my wife's birthday, our anniversary, my Son's and Daughter-In-Law's birthdays and anniversary and the grand kids birthdays. With the technology we have these days on Ipods and telephones etc. there should be no excuse for forgetting an important date. Most calendars will even email you reminders. We have no problem remembing the things that are important to us. Most men know who won the Stanley Cup this year and who won the Superbowl last year. Forgetting your anniversary simply means that it is not that important to you and that sends a bad signal, a signal that may last a few days (if you know what I mean).

I heard a cute story a few years back about the two guys who were golfing. They had just set up to tee off on the 18th hole when one of the gentlemen stopped, took off his hat and put it over his heart while a funeral possession was going by. His buddy commented afterwards about being impressed over his friends display of respect. He said "Do you do that for all funerals". His friends response was "No I don't but this one was special, she was a good wife for almost 40 years". What's important to you these days???

No Rain-Outs for a Wedding

2011-06-13T12:55:00.000-04:00

I was thinking this past week-end about outdoor weddings, as I drove through a blinding rain storm with all the thunder and lightning you could ask for, to an outdoor wedding scheduled to begin in about 40 minutes. When I first started out as a Wedding Officiant I used to get really uptight about the weather and worry myself sick about what the bride and groom where going to do, and how we were going to get this wedding in so I could arrive at the next wedding on time. I have learned over time that the weather is one thing that nobody can control, so I chill out and role with the punches.

While my overall record with good weather for outdoor weddings is quite impressive, I still have seen some nervous, if not down right scary scenarios. I remember driving North on Wilson Ave. in Oshawa to do a wedding at a farm just North of Brooklin. It was raining so hard that the water was flowing down Wilson a good 4-5 inches deep on the road, that's North of Taunton going towards Conlin. I drove the car through small lakes that day. Anyway, at the scene we had a brief break in the rain, the guest chairs were dryed off and we got a 15 minute ceremony in just before an even worse part of the storm came. I later signed up a couple who had seen me at that wedding and wanted me as their Officiant. I asked them what happened after I left . They said that the big tent that was set up for the reception dinner was literally blown into a distant field. Most of the guests stood in the barn or in one of several old garages on the property. Apparently when the storm stopped in early evening, the sun came out and the caterer served the guests under the stars and they partied the night away.

I said all that to say that there is nothing nicer than an outdoor wedding when the weather is nice. However, my advice to anyone booking an outdoor Venue is to always have an indoor alternative at the same site. Most Venues do have nice facilities indoors as well so it is just a matter of re-arranging things a bit so the ceremony can be witnessed indoors. The story I related above had no alternative because the house could not begin to hold the guests who were invited. Somebody asked me the other day if I had any rain-outs. I answered that a Wedding is not a baseball game. The wedding must go on so make it easier on yourselves brides and grooms and make sure there is a backup plan.

Change in Directions

2011-05-19T13:37:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week I decided to give one of the couples who were planning on getting married in a few days, a call. I called them specifically because I had not been getting any answers to my emails and there were a lot of things to look after in terms of ceremony choice etc. prior to their wedding. When I called, I was saddened to hear that the wedding had been cancelled and that the couple had gone their separate ways. Saddened I guess, because they were such a nice couple and wondering if it was the right thing to do or not.

My first inclination was to think that it is better to make that decision now than to wait until after the wedding. I then started to think it through a little more. Suppose that decision was not the right one, ever think of that? Our lives are full of decisions. I heard a friend say at their 25th Wedding Anniversary that the day him and his wife married he made it clear to his new wife that "from this day forward, all the big decisions will be made by me". He went on to say that "he has been amazed that there has never been one big decision to be made". Obviously, someone is making the decisions other than him.

I know that we all have regreted decisions in the past and we shake it off and say "well, you live and learn". Yes you do live and learn but it is too bad sometimes that we couldn't do the learning first then maybe the living would be better. Then there are people who never seem to learn even from their mistakes.

Each of us have, or need to have, a support system of parents, teachers, friends, co-workers etc, who have in the past influenced our lives to the point of shaping who we are today. When someone becomes wildly successful, invents something that saves thousands of lives or just becomes very highly influential who do they owe their greatness to? Was it the person on the last step of the influencing ladder, their most recent Mentor? Or, was it someone in that Mentor's life like a Teacher or Guidance Counsellor who encourage them along the way. Or, could it have been the father or mother of that Guidance Councellor or Teacher who did a great job raising him/her. It might have also been the Grandparents of the Guidance Counsellor or Teacher who raised such great kids who later became his/her parents. It just goes on and on. I hope you get the picture. Decisions we make can totally change our sphere of influence because we are now hanging out with a different crowd. You have to wonder sometimes what life might have been like if you hadn't made the decision you did way back when.

Getting back to the couple that decided to go their separate ways and cancel their wedding. It could very well have been the right thing to do but they will never know how life might have been if they hadn't made this decision. Here's hoping that it was the best thing for both of them.

How do you want your Wedding Officiant to dress for your Wedding.

2011-05-17T15:37:00.000-04:00

Many of the couples who contact me looking for a Wedding Officiant have no church background or religious connections whatsoever. These people, who represent the vast majority of couples who come to me, are very happy with the fact that I dress in a regular business suit and tie when I peform wedding ceremonies. It makes sense that if they don't or can't get married in a church, they do not want any religious content in their ceremonies that they wouldn't want me to appear in religious garb to perform their ceremonies.

Then there is another much smaller group who haven't attended church in many years but still desire some traditional religious content in their wedding ceremony. Seldom to these people want, or are able for one reason or another, to get married in a traditional church setting. It is always my delight to add religious content to their ceremony as well. Even then these couples are happy for me to come dressed in a suit and tie.

My personal belief is that it would be a deterrent to people to see me on my website dressed in a robe or clerical collar. How do you feel about it? I would be curious to get your feed back on this subject.

Wedding Officiant - Oshawa & Durham Region Ontario

2009-06-16T10:36:00.000-04:00

My name is Norman Martin and I am a Wedding Officiant covering Oshawa Ontario and the Durham Region.

As you plan for your special wedding day, let me offer you my sincere congratulations. It would be my pleasure to help you create a ceremony that will truly be an expression of your love and commitment to each other.

I would be happy to perform your wedding ceremony at the location of your choice, inside or outdoors. It is your day and we promise to always keep that in mind. Please contact me for an appointment at 905-721-1290 or email me at martinweddings@rogers.com.

Looking forward to hearing from you. It would be my pleasure to serve you as the Officiant for your special day. Visit me online at http://www.martinweddings.ca/

Norman M. Martin
Wedding Officiant